So many little stories every day as I support mothers through pregnancy, labor and those first precious weeks as they start their babymoon. Stories that are sometimes joyous and sometimes regret”full”; triumphant and sadly, sometimes partly a feeling of defeat. Most mothers, given time and a little distance, are comfortable with sharing their birth story. However, out of respect for their privacy and a need to ensure they are not subjected to hurtful comments I feel it necessary to wait long enough lest some identifying details find their way in. I may not think I’ve included an identifying detail but what seems anonymous to me may not actually be so.

I remember when I first started “teaching” birth. I really was “teaching.” I had a set curriculum, written out line by line what I was to cover and the order in which to cover it. Not to mention what I was “allowed” to include and what I wasn’t allowed to include.

Let’s see …. I was “allowed” to hand out the letter from Searle telling practitioners their drug, Cytotec, is not meant to induce labors. That was terrific because Cytotec is dangerous. It kills. Period.

I was not allowed to discuss with mothers various articles and midwives’ experiences with recognizing a posterior baby and subsequently turning the baby during labor. A posterior baby is more commonly referred to as a “back labor.” Back labor at the onset of birth is reported to occur in 17% to 30% of all births according to published reports. What I was seeing is that it was common for posterior labors to end up with pitocin, epidurals and subsequently cesareans. Here was something I was seeing with my own eyes, but my experience was not a good enough reason to talk to mothers and prepare them for the possibility of a back labor including what you can do during pregnancy to avoid a posterior presenting baby?

Maybe that’s why practitioners think natural birth advocates are too radical.  Of course I know there are birth care practices that can maim or kill.  There’s more to birth prep than just hearing xyz can kill you.  We know that about all things medical, including vaccines such as the new Gardasil vax.

Time and again mothers would say to me “IF you know something … tell us.  Don’t hold back.”  I won’t.  And there’s more to birth than what can be harmful.  There’s so much more beauty and awareness in birth than there is to fear.

Gag orders.  Yuck.

What made it special?  That it was so ordinary.  No drama.  Just simple kindnesses that have been a part of our lives for much of the past year since we finally restored some sanity into our world.  

I love mowing the lawn.  I love to fiddle around with dirt and a shovel.  Taking a shower feels so good after that and when you walk back outside in sandals and peddle pushers to see your youngest child pitch and work hard at playing ball….his next older sibling having walked him to the park so I could shower first…and there she is…beautiful, reading a book and plugged in (iPod) with my husband having cleaned the mower for me….holding my hand…..it doesn’t get any better than this.

London broil, a Caesar salad and a glass of wine.  Now the hummingbird feeder is rinsing and drying to be filled tomorrow as more rain arrives to naturally shower the gardening done today.

That’s for me though.  Right now some woman, some child, some human being somewhere is hurting or not knowing what tomorrow will bring.  They are someone’s child, someone’s mother, someone’s family.

I don’t take my day for granted.  My parents themselves made difficult choices including moving far away from family to make a difference in their lives, my life before they even knew I’d be born to them.

Today I wish a day like mine for every family.  One without drama and one with reflection on where we’ve been, where we are and what we envision for the future.  Then I pray someone somewhere will reach out a hand because I do know, quite personally, that that’s really what some of us need that would make a difference.

For today I gave my son a hand.  Runners on first and third and he strikes out two in a row.  Walks the next.  Bases loaded….a soft pop up right back to him….he catches it…and he shrugs like no big deal.  Bless this little boy who was born 8 weeks premature on my birthday 11 years ago.

Owning your birth story is important.  I’ve seen mothers look to those who were there to affirm her birth experience.  We can do that but the important word here is “affirm her birth experience.”  Let her tell the story.  Often times she also wants to hear her partner’s version of the story.

They are almost always two very different stories for time passes differently for each of them.  She is in her own world and he is there in a very unique way:  more intimate a presence than any other and with more love for her and her baby than any other could have for her.  He too will hold the birth forever in his heart and mind.

A Independent Childbirth colleague and friend sent this link out about a woman who experienced an extraordinary memory and was able to recall it for her own benefit and she also used it to help others.  It’s not specifically birth related and I certainly don’t intend it to have anyone compare birth with her health experience so please don’t take a negative connotation but rather take away with you the power of her brain and body’s capacity to think through her experience.